


A Traditional Romance

by misura



Category: Hot Fuzz (2007)
Genre: M/M, Something Made Them Do It, Traditions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-06
Updated: 2014-12-06
Packaged: 2018-03-02 20:30:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2825165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Kissing Day," Nicholas repeated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Traditional Romance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cookinguptales](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cookinguptales/gifts).



"Kissing Day," Nicholas repeated.

Danny nodded. "Yeah. It's, you know, the day before Christmas. Universal goodwill. Peace on Earth. That sort of thing."

"So I'm supposed to kiss you now." Nicholas tried not to sound appalled. He _felt_ appalled.

"Well, you're not homophobic or anything, are you?" Danny said. "I mean, fuck it, it's the twenty-first century. Open minds."

"This is not some sort of joke?"

Danny frowned at him. "Oh my God, you actually _are_ a homophobe. I _thought_ you were a little bit quiet when we were watching _Die Hard 4.0_ the other night and I was all, oh, look don't you think Justin Long and Bruce Willis have great chemistry in this film and you were all, who?"

"They were actors." Nicholas felt they were beginning to drift a bit off-topic. "Professional actors."

"That bit where one of them was supposed to suddenly have a thing for the other guy's daughter? Total smokescreen," Danny said. "I mean, come on. They'd met for, what, five minutes? Not exactly long enough to fall head over heels in love now, is it? I mean, in real life, sure, but in the movies? Just doesn't happen."

"People often experience strong emotions under traumatic circumstances." Nicholas had been to a seminar about this very topic. "It's unlikely their relationship would have lasted for very long."

"Exactly." Danny beamed at him.

Nicholas decided that, on reflection, perhaps a return to their original subject might be called for. "Fine. I'll kiss you. If you insist."

"Well, like I told you, it's tradition, isn't it?" Danny said. "Got to show our respect for history and all that stuff. Not like I'm all hot and bothered about it or something."

Nicholas considered. He also noted that Danny's face was, in fact, a little flushed. "Should this be - "

"Some parts of the world, it's like shaking someone's hand." Danny shook his head. "Can't imagine what that's like. I mean, plenty of people I meet, I wouldn't even want to touch their hand."

"No tongue, then, I take it?" Nicholas asked.

"Kissing with tongue counts as a proposal," Danny said promptly, as if he'd been waiting for Nicholas to ask that very question. "December, 1876. World-famous couple - well, world-famous around here, anyway. Annie and Jeremy. Or was it Joanie and Eddie? Well, never mind."

Nicholas thought about kissing Danny. He'd have to lean down a bit, probably; he'd need to limit the time accordingly, to spare his back. Say, five minutes, tops.

Then he thought about heading into Sandford and watching everybody they ran into kiss Danny. Without tongue, admittedly, but still.

"What do tradition and history have to say about punching people in the face on Kissing Day?"

"Perfectly all right." Danny beamed at him. "We should probably make a list. To, you know, be prepared. Wouldn't want to accidentally go knocking down your secret crush now, would I?"

"I have no secret crush," Nicholas said. "Do you?"

"Well, not sure if I'd call it a _secret_ , exactly," Danny said, which was no kind of answer, really. "So, if that's settled, why don't we get down to it?"

"It?" Nicholas echoed, before the penny dropped. "Oh, right. The kiss."

"Yeah. You know, some films, they keep teasing you about that bit - are they gonna kiss or aren't they, and then, right at the end, you know they are and it's whoops, sorry, out of time, fade to black. No kiss."

"Is this about _Die Hard 5.0_?"

Danny blinked at him. "Don't think they've made that one yet, actually."

"Good," Nicholas said, and kissed him.


End file.
